Last night I went home to a place I had never been. The room was filled with people dancing and singing and cheering, but I saw no pastor. It was a celebration, yet I heard no music. A faceless friend escorted me through the crowd. We walked hand in hand like ghosts until I saw her, a sister I have never seen but instantly loved and missed. My faceless escort and I drew closer. My sister turned and looked through the crowd for me. I waved to get her attention. She waved back frantically, beckoning to come to her. We moved through the familiar crowd of witnesses, each person smiled and embraced me. No one touched me, but I felt every hug. I swallowed every kiss. I heard every greeting. Yet, the room was silent. When I reached my sister, the congregation sang a silent praise that was felt by all. She embraced me, and I was swaddled in comfort and peace. And, we walked as one, further into the crowd. Each touchless interaction filled us more until we too became love in a celebration with no end.
9However, as it is written: “What no eye has seen, what no ear has heard, and what no human mind has conceived”- the things God has prepared for those who love him- 10these are the things God has revealed to us by his Spirit. The Spirit searches all things, even the deep things of God.
Since Jennifer Hudson’s Think Like A Man song was released earlier this year, I have been singing along and dancing to the beat. I like the melody. I adore Ne-Yo’s voice. But I am a bit skeptical about the lyrics. Sure, I am the girl who has mostly male friends. I am the girl who likes guns, action movies, football and “trash talk”. But these are a few of the characteristics that define me. I’m not trying to be a man or act like one. I’m a woman who happens to like these things.
So, here’s my dilemma.
In the song, Jennifer and Ne-Yo are basically having a “where has this relationship gone” conversation. Apparently, they had been “friends with benefits” but decided to test a real relationship. The shift from just friends to boyfriend/girlfriend didn’t work out so well. The song implies that Ne-Yo’s character wanted to keep the relationship as is but agreed to try it the woman’s (Jennifer’s) way. The end result? Because Jennifer could not think like Ne-Yo and leave well enough alone, they both wound up with nothing.
(From Think Like A Man by Jennifer Hudson, featuring Ne-Yo, Rick Ross, Epic/RCA Records)
Now I’m gonna keep it realer with you now than I ever been We should of never been, girl we was better friends You didn’t have to tell me what, where, why or when Um why I didn’t need it, Cause you wasn’t my girlfriend, we had a good thing You were a come by and kick it, ooh give me that good thang Then after we were finished, You go your way, I go my way, it was whatever Tell me what ever happens Think this wanna gonna be better And now i’m telling you lies, All because I hate to see the tears in your eyes Of course I want my cake, and eat it too, i’m a guy And of course, you don’t understand, But you would if you thought like a man in love
In love? Hmmm…
Don’t get it ladies? I know. I know. If he’s in love, how could he…?
The “friends with benefits” conversation is a whole separate blog and I assure you I will address it. In the meantime, let’s stay on task. Shall we?
Is it Biblical for a woman to actually try to think like a man? Are we meant to understand each other? If we were all completely in sync, who would we be, really?
As I stated before, I happen to love some things that are considered to be guy things. I also like to dress up and wear make-up. I cook a lot but you will never hear me say that I love it. All of us have a preference. Yours may be the opposite. But when it comes to my thinking, I have a genetic make-up and the mental capacity to think like a female typically thinks.
We will come to understand some things and from that predict and assume to know what’s on a man’s mind. But let’s be honest with ourselves. Women may try but we can never fully comprehend a man and vice versa. It is the way we are made.
In a perfect Christian world, there is an order to things.
God. Jesus Christ. Man. Woman.
1 Corinthians 11:3
But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.
We are made beautifully different because we fit together like a puzzle, mentally and physically (if you know what I mean).
Can you imagine kind of world we would have if we all thought alike? Ladies, do you really want to have your man’s idea of a clean house? Most of us would say no. What guy wants their woman to think they he thinks? With a few exceptions, most guys I know ask a female for advice about clothes and grooming. Because they want a different perspective.
Are matters of the heart or lack their of, any different? No. You think and feel the way you were made to think and feel. Women are from Mars,men are from Venus. It’s merely a metaphor but has some truth.
Grace does not void nature. It does not cancel God’s plan. The Lord gave us all a body and mind unique to each other but joined perfectly together. We are created to have different roles.
Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.
22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. 24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.
25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
Again, it is all a part of God’s plan, His holy order to things. We all know what happens when we stray from His will. Look around.