Greetings my brothers and sisters in Christ!
I am in LOVE…with the lyrics in this song, Break Every Chain.
There is power in the name of Jesus
to break every chain.
There’s an army rising up.
To break every chain, break every chain, break every chain.
I hear the chains falling.
There is power in the name of Jesus
to break every chain.
Not too long ago, I fell ill and into a depression so deep, I was ready to end my life. My life had been taken over by the pressures and pleasures of this world. I worked nonstop. I was fighting a chronic physical illness. I barely had time for my family. In between the two I tried to squeeze in time for a romantic relationship that was doomed from the start. In short, my life was sheer chaos.
I neglected to attend my weekly Bible study. Church on Sunday? Nope. I was at work. My morning prayers were replaced with Insanity workouts, the gym and Spotify. I barely picked up the Bible or opened my Bible app. My spiritual life, as I knew it, was fading away. But I didn’t notice.
Meanwhile, I began to feel drained, sick and sad. I couldn’t explain why. I had battled depression before, so I knew the warning signs. True to form, I was too busy to truly acknowledge them. I mentioned it in passing to friends. I got the same answer from each of them: You’re doing too much. Slow down.
But I couldn’t.
I felt that I had to be the super being my family needed. I had to help with legal cases, emotional issues, custody issues, financial problems. I chose to carry that weight on my own not realizing that it was weighing down. I had unequivocally tried to replace God, attempting to carry these loads. My life was in danger. But again, I didn’t notice.
Colossians 2
18 Let no man beguile you of your reward in a voluntary humility and worshipping of angels, intruding into those things which he hath not seen, vainly puffed up by his fleshly mind,2 Corinthians 11:3 – But I fear, lest by any means, as the serpent beguiled Eve through his subtilty, so your minds should be corrupted from the simplicity that is in Christ.
Meanwhile, my body, my mind and my spirit weakened. Things in my life began to fall apart. I was loosing the tight grip I thought I had on everything. I was plagued with migraines, my strength was barely there. I was becoming a skeleton.
Finally, I realized something was missing. I tried to pray. But my prayers felt empty and rehearsed. I tried to worship the Lord but there was no satisfaction. The close, intimate relationship that I had with my Father was gone.
I was lost.
Those whispers that I used to hear in my ear every day; that soft still voice, that gifted me with encouragement and love, had fallen silent. I saw no visions. I dreamed no dreams. It was all replaced with a taunting sibilance growing louder in my mind.
I was broken.
For days I was on my knees crying out to God, begging Him to come back. I felt, I heard, I saw nothing. Desperate to hear from my Father, I continued to pray. One morning, I heard something new, an idea that gave me a bit of relief.
The devil sweetly tortured me with suicide. His sharp tongue was like fire in my ear. The voices drowned all reasoning in my mind.
“You’re too far from God,” the evil creature whispered to me. “Look at all you’ve done. He’s not coming back to you. You have to go to Him.”
I was intrigued. For the first time in months, I had some hope.
“You can’t handle these things anymore. God wants to take away your burdens. You have to go to Heaven and be with Him. Then, you will see Him. No more stress. No more pain. Just Heaven. You are saved. When you die, you’ll go straight there. It’s time.”
Tears running down my cheeks, I smiled…completely deceived.
I wrote suicide letters my mind on one thing: Heaven. I secured a bottle of sleeping pills and took them. As I lay in bed waiting for my home-going, I turned to my nightstand and saw the envelopes with my children’s names on them.
No, I thought. I can’t do this. God doesn’t want me to do this.
I sat up in my bed and called a friend. I confessed my sin, crying so loud he could barely understand me. We prayed and prayed. But I fell asleep.
I spent four days in a hospital. When I came home, my depression was still there. I was barely able to get out of bed. I still could not pray. I was miserable. The last thing I wanted to do was to bother my friends with my troubles. But I was tired of being tired.
I called one of my best friends and shared everything. God bless her. She gave me the solution that was so simple, so sweet.
“Get up right now,” she demanded in only a way she could.
I obeyed.
“You will not lay in that bed. You will not let this defeat you. I want you to call on the name of Jesus. Do it now.”
So I did. We recited ‘Jesus’ over and over again. It was a quiet call at first. Before I knew it, my voice grew louder and louder. My best friend was off of the phone but I didn’t notice. I continued to call Jesus. On my knees, I prayed and begged for help.
There’s an army rising up.
To break every chain, break every chain, break every chain.
Yes, my friend! Praise God that army was rising up and ready to rescue me!
I felt better. Everyday, I fell out of bed and on my knees in prayer. God had sent that army down just for me. My strength returned. Laughter, joy and love was back in my life.
God said to me “I will never leave you.”
And He never did. I had forgotten that God cannot and will not forsake us, regardless of how far away we feel we have strayed.
Matthew 28:20 … and, lo, I am with you always, even unto the end of the world. Amen.
I had lost my way, feeling hopeless and without love. I allowed the enemy to nearly erase me. But the beautiful thing to remember is that Jesus conquered all death on the cross. Death is sin. Had I killed myself, I would have been guilty of sin and rejecting the sacrifice of God.
Beloved, we have to remember that there is great incomprehensible power in the name of JESUS. We all take this for granted but should not. I am a witness to that power. It is indescribable what happened to me just by calling the name of JESUS. That spirit, that chain of depression was broken with that sweet simple utterance of His name.
2 Chronicles 7:14
14 If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.
I am back in the loving arms of my Father, remembering always, my Holy place in the body of Christ. The chains are broken. Can you hear them falling? Can you hear the army of love charging the enemy to rescue you too?
Praise the Lord! I am in love. And it has never felt so good.
Grace and peace,
Blessings and love!
