A Higher Loyalty

Have you every questioned someone’s loyalty? Quite discomforting, isn’t it? The sheer torture of dealing with the fact that someone dear to you may not have your best interest in mind, especially when it counts the most. How do you find out for certain? Do you test them to see where their allegiance truly lies or do you just trust?

Some people just trust that the person is indeed loyal and most of the time, that loyalty is reciprocal. But, most people would test. And some people suffer a bit of disappointment when those results are revealed. Sure, you may say ‘At least now I know the truth’ or ‘Well, that’s a load off’, but you are still disappointed.

And what about you? Who or what has your absolute allegiance?

My sons and I were reading about Paul of Tarsus’ last letter to Timothy and the churches in 2 Timothy. One of the most touching parts of the letter comes when Paul says his goodbye knowing he is about to be put to death. This part shows that Paul is so certain that his placed unequivocal faith in Christ and that his loyalty to the gospel of Christ has been unquestionable that he is at peace with dying.

For I am now ready to be offered, and the time of my departure is at hand. I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith: Henceforth there is laid up for me a crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, shall give me at that day: and not to me only, but unto all them also that love his appearing.

2 Timothy 4:6-8

It brings tears to my eyes every time I read it. The verse made me wonder how many of us can say the same as Paul? How many of us can say that we have placed our unquestionable, untarnished, blind faith in Jesus Christ? How many of us can say that out loyalty is to Jesus? Could we too withstand being tortured, exiled, and even suffer death and remain loyal to God?

Have you trusted that it is Jesus Christ alone who is the way to the Kingdom of God?

Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.

John 14:6

It is through Jesus Christ’s suffering and dying and been raised again from that brutal death that guarantees our destination is Heaven. That is, if you believe.

For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God:Not of works, lest any man should boast.

Ephesians 2:8-9

Have you trusted in Jesus, solely Jesus?

How loyal are you to that belief?

You are not trusting that your own merits, deeds, good intentions or love for humanity will get you to Heaven, but your faith in Jesus and only Jesus is the way.

If He chose to do so, would Jesus Christ question your loyalty? We cannot question His loyalty? He offered the gift of eternal peace and has never taken it away. Can we say the same about our faith in Him?

If the Son therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed.

John 8:36

 

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Big and Healthy

Beulah Mae didn’t have much in her life. But, everything she got, she worked hard to get it and worked even harder to keep it. She was known around Yellow Pine as the candy lady. She would make peanut brittle and hard chocolates and sell to anyone who had the money. She dreamed of opening a candy store. But Beulah knew the dream would only come true in heaven. So, with that and her husband, John Daily’s wages from the saw mill, they made do with what they had. They rented a tiny house from a white farmer on the outskirts of the little town called YellowPine, Alabama. Beulah kept a small garden on the side of the house. This way, her children could have fresh turnips to eat for supper. The house had three rooms and a big porch. A small stream flowed through the backyard and into the woods. The children called it “tiny river”, a name they borrowed from their new daddy, John.

John was Beulah Mae’s last attempt at finding love. It was easy to attract men and that was her problem. She was a pretty woman. Her mother used to tell her that God mixed that Indian and African blood real good to make her. Beulah’s daddy was one of the few Indians left in the area. Bud Squire Houser had taken to Alabama life and married Beulah’s mother, Rosie Lee. Beulah cared for her mother long after Budsquire died. She wanted the love they had—strong, brave and true. She wanted a man like her daddy. Only, she didn’t have much luck in that area of her life.

She once told one of her women friends, “If I eva’ catch that cupid, I’mma take that bow n’ arra and shoot him in the ass!”

But that was before she met and married John, the last lover in her life.

Out of the three marriages, she did manage to have 12 children. Only seven were still too little to move out and start lives of their own. Her youngest, was little Ella Mae. Ella Mae didn’t look much like her mother. She was tiny for her age. She had dark chocolate skin and skinny legs.

“We gotta fatten you up, child,” Beulah would tell her. “Ain’t nuttin’ but skin and bones. No man ever gon’ want you!”

Ella ate as much as she was allowed but the weight her mother so desperately wanted her to gain, never came. Her family thought she was sickly but she wasn’t, just skinny. There was nothing frail about Ella Mae. She could run and wrestle with all of her brothers and sisters. But the kids at school still picked on her because she was so skinny and so black. They called her “tarbaby” and “bony”. Ella learned not to cry about it. She found other ways to pacify herself. Afterschool, she would get away to herself and chew the tree sap from the big pine tree in the back yard. That sweet sap was her secret. She had made up her own candy like her momma. Ella Mae was proud of herself. No name the children at school called her could take this feeling away. She would sit and chew and listen to her brothers and sister play with the neighbor’s children.

One of those children was big Bo Wilson. Bo was Ella’s age but opposite of her, he was big for his age. Bo ate so much that his momma often hid food from him. That’s when he would come down the hill to see Ms. Beulah. Bo loved Beulah’s biscuits. He asked for a biscuit on every visit. Ella Mae hated Bo. He was big and healthy like her momma wanted her to be. She thought that’s why her momma always treated Bo with a biscuit when he came by. If she could have gotten over her dislike for him, she would have asked how he gained so much weight. Eating and gaining didn’t come easy for everybody. And, little Ella was one of the unfortunate.

The sound of the children playing tag in the front yard had stopped. Ella Mae spit out her tree sap candy and ran around the house to see what was going on. Her momma had just taken a batch of biscuits from the fireplace oven. Her brothers and sisters and Big Bo were waiting on the front steps. Beulah stood in the doorway with a big pretty grin, holding a hot pan with her apron.

“Ya’ll wash ya hands over there?”

She nodded towards the pump a few feet away.

Ella ran to it and washed her hands. She had a plan. She was going to watch Bo eat and do everything he did. Maybe, she could gain weight like him.

“Yes,” the children answered, waiting eagerly for their treat.

“Alright then, come and get it,” Beulah announced. “And get one! The rest is for supper.”

Bo was first to grab the hot biscuit. He nearly dropped it trying to protect his hand from the heat. Beulah frowned at him.

“Boy, you know its hot,” she scolded him. “Use ya shirttail!”

“Yes ma’am.” Bo obeyed, slightly embarrassed.

Beulah smiled and shook her head at him as he reclaimed his seat on the top step. Ella stomped up the steps and gently ticked Bo with her foot.

“Ouch, gal,” Bo yelled. Biscuit crumbs fell from his mouth.

“Sorry,” Ella Mae snapped back in her tiny voice. “You was in the way.”

“Stop that, both ya,” Beulah ordered. She turned to Ella Mae. “Here, you take a big one.”

“Thank you, momma.”

Ella Mae took her biscuit to the small patch of pine trees that lined the front yard. She sat and crossed her legs, Indian style and watched Bo. She turned her head to the side like Bo. She took a big bite, like Bo. She hummed while she chewed like Bo.

The secret must be in the humming, she thought.

Bo stopped humming and chewing and turned to Beulah. He looked worried like he had done something wrong.

“Miss Beulie?”

“Yes, Bo?”

“Momma said if I keep eating biscuits, they gon’ kill me. I don’t wanna die,” Bo told her.

“What you say,” Beulah asked, trying to hide her laughter.

“Will they kill ya’, Miss Beulie? Will the biscuits kill ya?”

The other children stopped eating and waited for her answer. Little Ella Mae got scared. She had just eaten half of a big biscuit and her stomach was starting to hurt a little.

“Naw boy! Ain’t no biscuit gonna kill you! You eat all you want. You is a fine healthy boy!” She laughed and turned to go back inside the house. “Ailene ought to be shamed of herself.”

Bo was satisfied with the answer. They children went back to eating their biscuits. Ella went back to mimicking Bo.

Ella Mae didn’t start to gain weight until her teen years, when she started to become a woman. But Ella Mae kept the idea that big is healthy in her mind.

She married and had eight children. Her sole responsibility was to care for them. Like her mother, she loved her children. She showed that love by spending most of her day in the kitchen cooking and making sure her children were happy and healthy.

Ella Mae made sure every night was a feast. They dined on rich foods like fried chicken, greens from the garden cooked with ham hocks, freshly baked breads and sweet yams loaded with butter and sugar. There was always enough for seconds. Her children often made a competition out of whom would finish first. Ella Mae didn’t care. Her children were big and healthy.

It wasn’t until years later that Ella Mae and her children realized that their eating habits were just the opposite. All eight children were diagnosed with diabetes as adults. One of those children is my father. He is among the seven of Ella’s children who also developed high blood pressure along with unhealthy eating habits. But this family is not alone.

Ella Mae was not educated in healthy eating and cooking. Nor was her mother. Few people knew about illnesses due to diet in those days. Like Ella, they had all been conditioned to believe that big meant healthy. They only knew how to make the best foods they could with what they had. Later in life, Ella developed diabetes too. Armed with information, she made a change to her dinner table. She added fresh fruit and vegetables. She and the children who were still at home, started taking afternoon walks. Her love for her children didn’t change, of course. But she still made sure they were happy and healthy.

From Wearing the Blackbelt: Hard Lessons Learned From A Simple Life

Coming Soon

I Dream of Heaven

Last night I had a dream. I dreamt that I was carried to Heaven. Happily, I said goodbye to the people in the room with me. I gathered no luggage. I made no lists. I took no thought nor care for what I was leaving behind.

I only took flight.

Once my feet left the ground, I didn’t look back. I was all smiles and laughs as God’s gravity pulled me higher and higher into the sky. And I flew through the clouds, past the stars and over the galaxies all the way home where my Father greeted me like royalty.

It was the best night.

I didn’t want to wake up. I laid there in bed for a few moments still smiling. I started thanking God. I could not remember the last time I actually awakened from my sleep, happy.

This dream was a lesson to me. With all of the ugliness in the world, from prejudices to the hot button topic of the day— politics, we Christians forget that none of it matters. When we leave, we will not think nor care about what happened yesterday. We will only focus on one subject, God.

And, isn’t that what we are to focus on while we are here anyway?

Yes, I know it’s terribly hard. My mind is constantly filled with my personal problems and those of my friends. I spend so much time asking God to do things that I forget to say “thank you”. But this morning, I made another deal with myself.

I will try harder to keep my mind on heavenly things, remembering that this troublesome world is only a pit stop home.

 If ye then be risen with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ sitteth on the right hand of God. Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth. Colossians 3:1-2

The Bible tells us that we will have perfect peace if our minds are focused on God.

Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee.

Isaiah 26:3

That, my sweet brothers and sisters, is so very true. For a few blissful moments, when I awakened from my dream, I cared nothing nor anyone except seeing my Father.

Grace and peace,

Blessings and love,

I Hate You With The Love of Christ

I love the South.  I love it for its natural beauty, warm client, and for the most part its culture.

But, a part of me hates the South, not its people but that secret semi-hidden culture, the one that has never acknowledged racial equality, especially in personal relationships.

I have dated outside of my race. I am open about it. Why shouldn’t I be? Some of the men have been Southern. A few I loved. A few loved me. But I noticed a pattern in most of these relationships. Some families, a few black, mostly white, have a special rule when it comes to dating here in the South.

You can be friends but never date.

You can have sex but never fall in love.

This rule has been the demise of a few of my personal relationships. I know why this ends something potentially good but I will never understand it.

A person who breaks this rule risks everything. They could lose their family, business and friends. By going against what is socially acceptable, they risk becoming an outcast.

You’re probably thinking: Is this 1950?

Yeah, my sentiments exactly.

I was sad with the ending of each relationship, not only because I lost another love but also because people can’t or won’t accept each other for their character. They vainly cannot see past the color of their skin.

Part of me wanted to hate my suitors for not standing up for what they truly believe and not breaking that cycle of hatred and prejudice. Part of me understood that it is a lot to ask to be that brave soul who finally tells the truth.

But I wonder…

I wonder what kind of heaven these people think they’re going to.

I wonder how they will answer when God asks if they loved everyone.

How will they explain the exceptions?

I wonder if they will even go to Heaven.

Yes, most of these people say they are Christian. There are some in the pulpit, preaching and teaching love. But, they would never speak to their daughter again if she brought home a black man to marry. If Jesus shows no preference, who are you to do so? (Acts 10:34)

There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus. Galatians 3:28

For years, my parents were stuck in this thinking. They were guilty of making distinctions among themselves as it is written in James 2. I remember my mom telling me that “the Bible said to love them; but it didn’t say fall in love with them”. I always thought it was an ignorant thing to say. And, I never found that verse.

I wonder how could they? How they say they love God, say they are Christian and hate someone solely because they look the way God made them? Thank God she repented before she died. My father had a change of heart shortly after. They finally understood and trusted in scripture like Galatians 3:28.

My parents, like so many, twisted the scripture. The love of Christ is not conditional. His love for his creation is without prejudice. He commands the same of us.

If ye fulfil the royal law according to the scripture, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself, ye do well: James 2:8

My question is: If the Holy Spirit truly lives in you, why is there so much hatred? Can the Holy Spirit dwell in a hatred filled environment? To quote the Apostle Paul, “God forbid”!

I don’t hate anyone. I hate the practice. In fact, my heart breaks because they are all victims, blinded by the lie. It will always be my prayer that we learn to love each other and turn a blind eye to the lie that has been passed on for decades and continues to be passed on, yet poisoning another generation.

Who will break the cycle?

Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. Ephesians 4:32

Dance Like Nobody’s Watching

Recently, a friend I’ve known for a while “chastised” me for “dancing” to secular music. I allowed her to talk but I stopped listening after a few seconds. We’ve had this conversation before and it was obvious neither one of us had changed our position.  I am a pretty passive person these days. So, I kept my thoughts to myself as she babbled on in complete bondage. But, what I wanted to say was this:

Take a look at your DVR recordings or your movie purchases. What’s the difference? Why cast the stone? This is what irritates me about religion. It keeps you in bondage even when Christ has set you free with his BLOOD. HIS HUMAN LIFE. You can’t settle a debt any better than this. This is the ultimate sin (if there is a such thing). Rejecting God’s atonement for ALL sin insisting you can do a better job. Foolish child! It’s sad that so many of these self righteous, sanctimonious, holier than thou, ‘I am God’s chosen because I can recite scripture and I count my sins everyday, people are so very LOST. My dear sister/brother, revisit 1 Cor. 15:3…where Christ died for our sins according to the scriptures; John 8:36…if the Son shall make you free, you are free indeed and (you know this one by heart) John 3:16. What’s worse than going to hell? Going and being totally surprised. Note: Your deeds are not the key, it’s your faith.

I didn’t bother ‘casting my pearls to swine’, brothers and sisters. I just rolled my eyes and said a quick prayer for her as I do for myself. I asked for wisdom and understanding of the Bible. I pray that you all know that God looks beyond that thick skin of ours. He speaks to our heart and soul. No relationship can be any deeper.

I wouldn’t be surprised at all if we got to Heaven and the Lord Jesus himself wanted to dance in celebration of our glorious welcome home.

Grace and peace  Blessings and Love.

Driving Purpose in Life

Tags

Jesus Christ, purpose driven life

It’s been a while. I know. I could say life gets in the way. I’ve been very busy. But these are just excuses.
Life.
Our lives should be an extension of the life of Christ.
When I heard this at church on Sunday, I started to make a mental, self-absorbed inventory of my life. What do I do? What do I don’t? And of yes, the ever coveted…What would Jesus do?
Can we truly live up to the life of Christ? By the end of our first year on earth, we probably had already fallen short. So how do we reconcile?
Simple. We cannot.
What does it mean to be an extension of Christ? How does one accomplish this?
Purpose.
Why are here? What is our purpose in life? Mark Twain said it best when wrote: “The two most important days of your life is the day you are born and the day you find out why.”
The ‘why’ allow us to become that extension.
We strive to live a life pleasing to God. As hard as it may be, we fight daily. We don’t live for ourselves.

1 Corinthians 6:19-20 Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.

We live for a purpose. Whatever gift God has given you, it should be used within the body of Christ.

1 Corinthians 10:33 Even as I please all men in all things, not seeking mine own profit, but the profit of many, that they may be saved.

We try to keep our minds, bodies and spirits as clean as possible to please the Lord and to encourage others. In this way, we attempt to be an extension of Jesus Christ, a part of His body.

Romans 12:1-5
I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned. For as in one body we have many members, and the members do not all have the same function, so we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another.

So, the Sunday message followed me all day. It’s still haunting my mind actually. I thought about my life and how people pre-judge me because of my past choices. It hurts. I was a teenage mother and now divorced with three children. For the rest of my life, this will be my identity to most of the world. How unfair! What about my heart? What about my walk with Christ? What about the ‘good’ things I do?
Doesn’t matter.
Thank Jesus for his grace and mercy. This is one that the world will never be able to comprehend. All they will ever see is what I have done. But my Father sees me and only me, as an extension of himself. That is why we stay focused on the blessed hope with our mind of heavenly things. Focus, instead, on our purpose. Purpose drives us to keep going. As the minister at church said, it motivates us to fight! Every one of us needs a reason to get up in the morning. What is yours?

The Pope Said WHAT?

Tags

Bible, christianity, Encouragement, Love, Pope Francis, religion, salvation

Last week the ever “progressive” Pope was in the news yet again spouting his so-called wisdom to the world. For a few seconds, his comments surprised me.

“When we read about Creation in Genesis, we run the risk of imagining God was a magician, with a magic wand able to do everything. But that is not so.” (Pope Francis)

Then I was reminded that this man like countless others, is completely clueless. His wisdom is foolishness. Period.

  For seeing that in the wisdom of God the world through its wisdom knew not God, it was God’s good pleasure through the foolishness of the preaching to save them that believe.  1 Corinthians 1:21

I don’t claim to know very much about the Catholic church. But, I do know that anyone who does not preach Jesus Christ crucified (Ephesians 2: 8-9) as the gospel of our salvation, is lost and bound for hell.

Think about the millions of people who place their faith in the words of men. They hold all of these degrees and certifications that allegedly proves they are knowledgeable.

But, what do they really know?

Without, Jesus, the Power of God, there is no knowledge.

Pope Francis says God cannot be expected to wave a magic wand to create things. Perhaps this man studied his own version of Genesis. God needs the help of no one. He speaks and it is so. The end.

Brothers and sisters, the world continues to show us that we need to stay grounded in the word of God. We need to take advantage of our divine appointments. Share our wisdom with the world. So you have no formal education? So what. You have something better, no best.

²⁵ Because the foolishness of God is wiser than men; and the weakness of God is stronger than men.

²⁶ For behold your calling, brethren, that not many wise after the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble, are called:

²⁷ but God chose the foolish things of the world, that he might put to shame them that are wise; and God chose the weak things of the world, that he might put to shame the things that are strong;

²⁸ and the base things of the world, and the things that are despised, did God choose, yea and the things that are not, that he might bring to nought the things that are:

²⁹ that no flesh should glory before God.

³⁰ But of him are ye in Christ Jesus, who was made unto us wisdom from God, and righteousness and sanctification, and redemption:

³¹ that, according as it is written, He that glorieth, let him glory in the Lord. 1 Corinthians 1:25-31

We know God! He knows us! We have his wisdom! Why not use it?

But first, we must come to together. Preach in unison the gospel of Jesus (1 Corinthians 1:13). I know what you’re thinking. That’s hard if not impossible. Do you know what I say to that?

With God ALL things are possible.

Use me, Lord.

I’m sad to say that I can understand how easy it is for one’s heart to turn to stone. We live in a cold world. It’s so cold that the very fact is a cliché. But it is sadder to know that even your brothers and sisters in Christ are even icier.

I’ll admit sometimes I wish I could just use people for what I need or want and keep it moving. It happens so often, it looks easy. But my conscience, my heart, the Holy Spirit in me, won’t allow me to so. I feel guilty just thinking about it.

I’m far from perfect. Trust me; I have done things in which I am ashamed. But like so many of my brothers and sisters, I have a love for people. I want to help them. Nourish them. I’d give my all and my last if I could. God knows that’s the truth. Anyone who knows me can witness to this fact.

But I wonder how do we get so wrapped up on our flesh that we forget to love each other, unconditionally.

Agape love.

I have had recent cases where people I loved, brothers and sisters in the Lord, who could have helped me but refused. But with the same hand, reached out for my assistance, vanishing after there need was filled.

It happens too often. And good clean hearts can easily turn into stone with this kind of treatment. I considered taking on this attitude.

“From now on, I’m looking out for me and only me. No one is going to mistake my kindness for weakness ever again,” I said to myself.

These thoughts were fueled by pain and heartbreak. I knew it was wrong. But God how do I avoid people like this? How do I tell the difference being naivety and charity?

I came across some verses that helped. They blessed and refilled my heart. When I read them, I truly felt sorry for the “users”. I hope it blesses you too.

 Bless them that curse you, and pray for them which despitefully use you. Luke 6:28

For the Lord taketh pleasure in his people: he will beautify the meek with salvation. Psalms 149:4

Before destruction the heart of man is haughty, and before honour is humility. Proverbs 18:12

Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time 1 Peter 5:6

But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you; Matthew 5:44

 

 

I loathe when people use others. It’s one of those things that anger me. It just breaks my heart. However, here’s the kicker.

I want to be used.

But, only by my Father, the Lord Jesus Christ. These days, I have a new prayer. I ask the Lord to use me in any way that He wants to use me. I am His. I only ask for strength and courage to do His Will.

 Will you join me? Perhaps, by faith, we can put a dent in the cycle.

Grace and peace. Blessings and love.

Love Never Felt So Good

Greetings my brothers and sisters in Christ!

I am in LOVE…with the lyrics in this song, Break Every Chain.

There is power in the name of Jesus
to break every chain.

There’s an army rising up.
To break every chain, break every chain, break every chain.

I hear the chains falling.

There is power in the name of Jesus
to break every chain.

Not too long ago, I fell ill and into a depression so deep, I was ready to end my life. My life had been taken over by the pressures and pleasures of this world. I worked nonstop. I was fighting a chronic physical illness. I barely had time for my family. In between the two I tried to squeeze in time for a romantic relationship that was doomed from the start. In short, my life was sheer chaos.

I neglected to attend my weekly Bible study. Church on Sunday? Nope. I was at work. My morning prayers were replaced with Insanity workouts, the gym and Spotify. I barely picked up the Bible or opened my Bible app. My spiritual life, as I knew it, was fading away. But I didn’t notice.

Meanwhile, I began to feel drained, sick and sad. I couldn’t explain why. I had battled depression before, so I knew the warning signs. True to form, I was too busy to truly acknowledge them. I mentioned it in passing to friends. I got the same answer from each of them: You’re doing too much. Slow down.

But I couldn’t.

I felt that I had to be the super being my family needed. I had to help with legal cases, emotional issues, custody issues, financial problems. I chose to carry that weight on my own not realizing that it was weighing down. I had unequivocally tried to replace God, attempting to carry these loads. My life was in danger. But again, I didn’t notice.

Colossians 2
18 Let no man beguile you of your reward in a voluntary humility and worshipping of angels, intruding into those things which he hath not seen, vainly puffed up by his fleshly mind,

2 Corinthians 11:3 – But I fear, lest by any means, as the serpent beguiled Eve through his subtilty, so your minds should be corrupted from the simplicity that is in Christ.

Meanwhile, my body, my mind and my spirit weakened. Things in my life began to fall apart. I was loosing the tight grip I thought I had on everything. I was plagued with migraines, my strength was barely there. I was becoming a skeleton.

Finally, I realized something was missing. I tried to pray. But my prayers felt empty and rehearsed. I tried to worship the Lord but there was no satisfaction. The close, intimate relationship that I had with my Father was gone.

I was lost.

Those whispers that I used to hear in my ear every day; that soft still voice, that gifted me with encouragement and love, had fallen silent. I saw no visions. I dreamed no dreams.  It was all replaced with a taunting sibilance growing louder in my mind.

I was broken.

For days I was on my knees crying out to God, begging Him to come back. I felt, I heard, I saw nothing. Desperate to hear from my Father, I continued to pray. One morning, I heard something new, an idea that gave me a bit of relief.

The devil sweetly tortured me with suicide. His sharp tongue was like fire in my ear. The voices drowned all reasoning in my mind.

“You’re too far from God,” the evil creature whispered to me. “Look at all you’ve done. He’s not coming back to you. You have to go to Him.”

I was intrigued. For the first time in months, I had some hope.

“You can’t handle these things anymore. God wants to take away your burdens. You have to go to Heaven and be with Him. Then, you will see Him. No more stress. No more pain. Just Heaven. You are saved. When you die, you’ll go straight there. It’s time.”

Tears running down my cheeks, I smiled…completely deceived.

I wrote suicide letters my mind on one thing: Heaven. I secured a bottle of sleeping pills and took them. As I lay in bed waiting for my home-going, I turned to my nightstand and saw the envelopes with my children’s names on them.

No, I thought. I can’t do this. God doesn’t want me to do this.

I sat up in my bed and called a friend. I confessed my sin, crying so loud he could barely understand me. We prayed and prayed. But I fell asleep.

I spent four days in a hospital. When I came home, my depression was still there. I was barely able to get out of bed. I still could not pray. I was miserable. The last thing I wanted to do was to bother my friends with my troubles. But I was tired of being tired.

I called one of my best friends and shared everything. God bless her. She gave me the solution that was so simple, so sweet.

“Get up right now,” she demanded in only a way she could.

I obeyed.

“You will not lay in that bed. You will not let this defeat you. I want you to call on the name of Jesus. Do it now.”

So I did. We recited ‘Jesus’ over and over again. It was a quiet call at first. Before I knew it, my voice grew louder and louder. My best friend was off of the phone but I didn’t notice. I continued to call Jesus. On my knees, I prayed and begged for help.

There’s an army rising up.
To break every chain, break every chain, break every chain.

Yes, my friend! Praise God that army was rising up and ready to rescue me!

I felt better. Everyday, I fell out of bed and on my knees in prayer. God had sent that army down just for me. My strength returned. Laughter, joy and love was back in my life.

God said to me “I will never leave you.”

And He never did. I had forgotten that God cannot and will not forsake us, regardless of how far away we feel we have strayed.

Matthew 28:20 … and, lo, I am with you always, even unto the end of the world. Amen.

I had lost my way, feeling hopeless and without love. I allowed the enemy to nearly erase me. But the beautiful thing to remember is that Jesus conquered all death on the cross. Death is sin. Had I killed myself, I would have been guilty of sin and rejecting the sacrifice of God.

Beloved, we have to remember that there is great incomprehensible power in the name of JESUS. We all take this for granted but should not. I am a witness to that power. It is indescribable what happened to me just by calling the name of JESUS. That spirit, that chain of depression was broken with that sweet simple utterance of His name.

Jesus.

2 Chronicles 7:14
14 If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.

I am back in the loving arms of my Father, remembering always, my Holy place in the body of Christ. The chains are broken. Can you hear them falling? Can you hear the army of love charging the enemy to rescue you too?

Praise the Lord! I am in love. And it has never felt so good.

Grace and peace,
Blessings and love!

Remember Your Purpose

Tags

Afterlife, Bible, Christ, christianity, gospel, Heaven, Jesus Christ, lifestyle, Love, religion, Saved

What would happen if all of the churches closed their doors for one Sunday and went out to minister to people just as Jesus and all of his disciples ministered? Who are we to tell people to come to us? Why can’t we go to them?

Yes, it is good to fellowship with people with your beliefs. But bond together in brotherly love and not vain glory. What good is it to have “church” and only “minister” to the same people over and over?

What about Monique, a self confessed prostitute with several children? When she was told that Jesus loves her, all she could do was fight back tears. “I only hear ‘I love you’ from my children. They gotta love me. I’m they momma.” Monique wants to experience God’s love but everyone in her neighborhood knows her occupation. She can’t go to the church. They’ll judge her.
Pam was on the Homecoming Court in high school. She made it to graduation but married a man who beat her. She lost sight in her left eye. She keeps to herself, avoiding crowds at all cost.

Shirley has always been talkative and quick to voice her opinion about almost everything. When asked to talk about herself, she shuts down. In her 52 years on this earth, she has spent 27 of them going in and coming out of mental institutions. Do you know Jesus, Shirley? “Yeah, he’s that white man in the picture.”

How do we get to these people if we are sitting in our buildings week after week basking in our own vain glory? We call it praising God…giving God the glory. Really? How does God get the glory from you obtaining yet another title from your church? What glory does God receive by you calling yourself ‘Doctor’ or ‘Bishop’ or ‘Evangelist’? Especially when you sit on your title after you’ve earned it.

You are in charge of this program and that in your church. You can raise this much money for this department and that. Your congregation adores you. Your church organization respects you and sends you across the world to annual conventions and meetings.

Meanwhile, Pam, Shirley and Monique die unsaved and unaware that “by grace through faith” (Eph. 2:8-9) they could have been saved. They could have experienced a love greater than no other.

What do you plan to say to our Father on judgment day? What will you tell Him when he asks:

“They died on your watch. Where were you?”

“Lord, I was in church.”

My lovely brothers and sisters, sealed unto the day of redemption, called by Christ himself. Let’s not be selfish. Let’s take our honored position and share the good news.

Mark 16:15
And he said unto them, Go ye into all the world, and preach the gospel to every creature.